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When do you congratulate someone for their mistake.
On their marriage.
If you do NOT have a wife - You are missing Some thing in your life.
If you have a wife - You are missing So Many things in your life. Marriage is a three ring circus:
engagement ring
wedding ring
suffering
| - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Valentine's Day Jokes  Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 
Stupid Jokes on Men:- What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
- What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature
- How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head
- What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up
- How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares
- How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know... it has never happened
- What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum
- What's the difference between a man and E.T?
E.T. phoned home
- What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer
- What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted !
- What did God say after he created man?
I can do better
- What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind 2. No business
- What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist
- Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal?
He bronzed it
- How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy and wearable"
- Only a man could buy a $400 car and put a $4000 stereo in it
- Why did God create man?
He needed to practice
- Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost, at least she will ask for directions
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